You Get What you Tolerate
One important concept to remember is that we get what we tolerate! What does this mean? If we tolerate our kids yelling at us, demanding things, they will keep doing it! If we don’t want that behavior to continue we must set boundaries! The problem is often times people don’t set boundaries because it’s tremendously difficult or there are other factors getting in the way! It is important to work through these barriers. If you feel stuck, a professional can help!
At the end of the day the behavior wont go away unless you are willing/able to CONSISTENTLY set boundaries and make those problem behaviors ineffective. Another aspect to focus on is reinforcing the replacement behavior. You want to make the replacement behavior (whatever it is you want them to do instead of the problem behavior) more effective than the problem behavior. The motivation to use the problem behavior will decrease if you make their respectful behavior work really good in it’s place!
What does that look like? If your child demands a toy, you prompt them to ask nicely and wait to give the toy until they ask nicely. When they ask nicely you IMMEDIATELY give it to them. When we give in to poor or disrespectful behavior we teach them that it is ok.
Reach out to us if you want help implementing this or making a specific plan for your situation!